QUESTIONS WE CAN POSE OURSELVES

By Steve King

What is the Impact, the Toll, the Price you pay for your present choices and actions?
“Are you a slow learner?” – something a lawyer once asked a client of mine.
What’s your greatest gift?
What is the downside of positive change?

Rational Behavior Therapy (Dr. Maxie Maultsby) the 5 questions;
1. Is my thinking here factual?
2. Will my thinking here best help me protect my life and health?
3. Will my thinking here best help me achieve my short-term and long-term goals?
4. Will my thinking here best help me avoid my most undesirable conflicts with others?
5. Will my thinking here best help me feel the emotions I want to feel?

What is the fear that’s holding you back?
“How would you prefer to think about that?”
“What would love do here?”
What would your life look like if everything was working?
How willing are you to apply your intelligence?
Do you want to be a victim of history or a master of destiny?
How can you serve?
Do you wish to be a Worrier or a Warrior?
Every behavior has a positive intent! And all behaviors are in pursuit of a goal. Therefore, what is the goal behind the behavior?
If we view emotion (i.e. anger) as a commodity – what do you do with that?
“How good can you stand it?” – this is regarding your own limiting beliefs.
Is there something about a sober way of living that excites you enough to create positive motivation and take the necessary steps?
What choices are you making that keep you from being excellent?

Existential anxiety – knowing death is inevitable – we can choose our attitude and its meaning. (Yalom) the three other “ultimate anxieties” are;
Freedom – awareness that we are authors of our own lives – the “What ifs”
Isolation – awareness that we are fundamentally separate from all others.
Meaninglessness – Knowing all this – why bother getting up each morning?

Can you choose joy and contentment?
Suicide is a problem for us but a solution in someone elses’ view.
What problem would it solve?
If we could find another solution to your problem – would you be willing to live?
What could earn forgiveness?

With recurrent depression, the two most common underlying assumption themes are perfectionism and dependency.
If you don’t do something perfectly then---------------.
If I do something perfectly then-------------.
If someone doesn’t love/like/approve me then-------------.

What is desirable, nourishing and welcome or vice versa?
If you had ONE MORE DAY. How would you spend it and with who?
What stops you from embracing it now?
Michael Phelps W.I.N. What’s Important Now?
Goal - How do you want to be?
How would you know when you are there?
What dreams did you have as a child that you have given up on?
Who do you wish you could be like?
What would you like to do that you haven’t been able to do yet?
What would you do/attempt/be if your success was guaranteed?
What legacy of self would you like to leave behind?
What do you know that you are not admitting to yourself yet?
If you were to begin to have a new and better experience in life, what would it look like or feel like?
Are you a ‘stubborn victim’ or a ‘tenacious survivor’?
Would you employ a confessed poisoner as your cook?" re self-forgiveness.
Where can you exert more influence at work?
The major questions are of our sense of deservability at the subconscious level.
Core Belief questions;
Why do I believe that?
Is it true - given what you now know today? It was all based on interpretation and perception and limitations at that time.

The Three questions;
How could this serve me?
What could I learn from this?
How could I use this learning to move forward and have a better life and future?

So, what will matter?
How will the value of your days be measured?
What might I be concerned would happen if I did not believe that?
What would you do if you thought like God?
Where were you reminded of your divinity?
Where were you encouraged to go for your dreams?
Who makes you feel glad to be alive?

“What step(s) would I take if I were brave?” (Jana Stanfield)
Einstein said, there is only one question “Is the universe safe?”
"Tell me when you first knew you were safe?"

When did this relapse start?
Addiction Relapse questions;’
What happened?
What were my thoughts and feelings around using;
before - during - after
What should I have done?
What am I prepared to do?
Where do I want to go?
What is my plan?
How did I hurt my family?
How did I hurt myself?

What are the disempowering assumptions that you are operating under?

“When you know the difference between the container and the contents, you know all.”
When the asking of questions ends, the game is over!
Life is about wonder, and the meaning is often in the question, not the answer!
When we have all the solutions, there’s no reason for the game to continue.
Life is a journey and the meaning of life is the pathway.
Success is a journey, not a destination.
The questions we ask along the way become the tools that assist us in navigating a course, as opposed to drifting asleep at the wheel.

What can I do today that is courageous, bold, and honourable?
What choices can I make today that will make me grow?
Is what I am doing right now going to matter in seven years?

Mental Chatter – if we ignore it, it will rule our life.
You create your world with the mental chatter – live in a construct.
Knowing this is actually a liberating concept.
We have personally established a mental model of how the world is.

The question becomes – does this model work for you now, better than what you have been using to this point?
Is this a risky situation?
Am I being pressured?
How would this impact others that I care about?
Is this consistent with my values?
What effect will this have on my future?
What other choices do I have?

What kind of a marriage or relationship do I want?
On a scale of 1 – 10 where is my marriage/relationship today?
What would it take to move the relationship up to a 10?